Pimp, Cop, Hoe

At practice before our season started our ultimate team agreed to wear yellow for the games. Week 1 we showed up and found another team also wearing yellow shirts. The schedule showed the two teams would meet week 5 so I told Jeremy, their captain, we would wear white for the match. When I relayed this information to my team after our week 4 game they were quite upset that I did not fight to keep our yellows. So I told my team I would contact Jeremy and challenge him to a battle of pimp, cop, hoe.

When he didn’t respond immediately I wrote him the following the e-mail:

Jeremy,

I didn't hear back from you. Do you want to roe sham boe for jersey color or no?

Maybe I should have explained:

Cop beats pimp
Pimp beats hoe
Hoe beats cop

What is your phone number and I'll give you a call?

--Kevin

Now, I don't know Jeremy well, but I have played with him a couple times before. I also assumed it was his first time playing pimp, cop, hoe. Considering he was a pimp, cop, hoe rookie, combined with what little I knew of his personality I figured he wouldn't be aggressive enough to choose "hoe" on his first try. So I decided to play it safe and go with cop. (Yeah, I actually thought about all this.)

We squared off over the phone. But Jeremy went with cop too. After the push he was ready to go again immediately. Despite spending two days thinking of contingency plans I couldn’t immediately remember, and I just reacted and went with cop a second time. Jeremy came in with…

Pimp.

We wore the yellows, and went on to win the game.

Nobody likes the whites anyway.